Frequently asked questions - first edition
If I am frequently asked the same questions on the contents of the ebook, I will answer them here and email the person back when I am done. I will probably integrate some of this content into the second edition of the book.
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Answers |
How long does it take to get results?
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You can have immediate results in your happiness level right away from the reading and from the first exercise. To achieve the full results of being happy all the time depends upon how fast you go through the exercises and complete the check list. The more you need to have a higher happiness level, the faster it will go.
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Who is the book for?
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The book is for anyone who can understand English fairly well, and who is looking to be happier. Everyone wants to be happier as a basic need, so this book is intended for everyone. However, only those that value increased long term happiness over short term happiness pursuits (such as eating at a fancy restaurant) will be interested.
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I started reading to a certain point and then lost interest.
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You hit a point in the book where there was some concept that you skipped over and you lost the flow of the text. Go back to right before you lost interest and find what concept you skipped over, and read about it again more carefully, then the flow should resume.
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I don't feel motivated to do the exercises
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No problem! Go to the checklist and do the 4th exercise first, which is specifically designed to help with motivation. You should not feel any resistance to doing this one. If you purchased this book, you will value this exercise.
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I am going through the book and I feel happier when doing the exercises but they wear off
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That is normal, it takes a few repetitions for things to fully sink in and for the changes to take hold, that is the way the mind works. For example, you often have to hear and use someone's name several times to remember it. Go to the checklist and do the 2nd and 3rd exercise again, and identify which items are causing things to wear off. Then focus on those items in the values exercises in order to achieve a longer lasting effect.
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I don't understand a particular section of the book
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There is a chapter in the book called "Concepts" which has some techniques to resolve issues with understanding. Read that one and use the techniques on the section you don't understand. If you still have any questions after that, then please post it on the blog, or email me!
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Can this resolve mental health issues such as depression, or physical health issues?
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The product is intended to guarantee happiness, and not to cure any other condition. For example, if you are ill, you are guaranteed to end up being happy about your life even though you are ill. However, there is a strong correlation between a positive mental attitude and both mental and physical improvement, so it is definitely possible that there can be other benefits than just happiness. Basically increasing happiness reduces stress, and reducing stress can improve health.
Additionally, increasing happiness will make you more likely to take action towards solving your own issues, and there is a section in the book on how to resolve almost any issue you have, and exercises to provide you with the motivation to actually do it. |
Can this reduce stress?
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Definitely. Harmful stress occurs when you have something blocking your happiness in a way that you can't resolve. You will learn to create happiness in ways that are more difficult to block and your stress will go down.
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Isn't it natural to be unhappy sometimes?
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Of course. It's also natural to drown if your swimming skills are not good enough. However, with enough practice, some people have become such good swimmers that they can swim for extremely long periods of time, and they get out of the water before they are in danger. What this book does is get you to exercise your "happiness muscles" with some exercises until you can maintain a positive attitude almost indefinitely, and to spot when you are in danger of losing it and need to rest.
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In your book you recommend some form of exercise, shouldn't this be supervised by a doctor?
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If you are going to engage in a strenuous form of physical activity you should consult a medical doctor, or a certified personal coach for athletics (who will probably recommend that you consult a medical doctor)
But don't use the need to consult a doctor as an excuse to not start some light exercise, such as walking a bit more than you normally do, unless you are in really horrible shape. If so, be aware and at the first signs of trouble, such as tiredness, dizziness, nausea, pain, or sweating, just slow down and recover. If at any point you are feeling uncomfortable you should consult a doctor. Proceed with moderation and don't try to do a lot more than you normally do and you will avoid stress and build endurance. |
In your book you suggest that it takes 21 days to form a habit, what is the source for that?
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Time to form a habitI don't actually suggest that it takes 21 days to form a habit, I say that statistical studies were done on it, but that I personally believe that it takes "as long as it takes", it's just that 21 days is a good average guideline for simple habits.
The 21 days belief comes from research from Dr Maxwell Maltz, the author of Psycho-cybernetics, who noticed that phantom limb sensations disappeared after approximately 21 days. He formed a theory that the feelings were "habitual" and attempted research on changing other habits, in particular ones of having a positive self-image, since he was a plastic surgeon. He found the 21 day period applied there as well on average. Pages xiii-xiv of his book are the original reference to the idea. You can preview the book and see the actual reference. Interestingly enough, Maxwell does have a chapter called: "You can acquire the habit of happiness". I would like to read his book one day. The graph above comes from a similar study on how long it takes to establish a habit which can be found by clicking here. Notice in the graph that new habits requiring effort take longer to form, while easy ones, such as having a glass of water take about 21 days to reach maximum automaticity. I mention in the book that habits which require less effort would become habits faster. If you get the feeling to perform a new habit, but you ignore it or fight it. (due to the effort), you will hinder habit formation. The habits in the book were designed to be low effort habits. |
Why are there not sources listed for some of the information you mention?
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The short answer is that it didn't feel right to me. I couldn't quite put into words why until I had a phone conversation with Ed Nottingham IV, Phd. the author of "It's Not As Bad As It Seems". After reading my book, he suggested that the strength of my book is that it's a personal story of finding out what worked, as opposed to having an academic background in psychology and holding a Phd (Ed personally has 25 years of clinical experience, primarily dealing with happiness). He said that although his book had many references, and he was used to references in most of what he read, that adding references would "contaminate" the personal feel of the book, changing it into an academic work. I have since ordered Ed's book and look forward to reading it, and appreciate his insights.
That said, most of the information I mention can be easily accessed in this day and age by using Google search. I will list some references I was specifically asked for here however, and will provide sources for anything that is questioned on the web site. For example, I was asked how I found out the root for "hap". Here are two links: An online dictionary An online etymological dictionary |
Why aren't the words in the title of your book capitalized?
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I liked it better in lowercase. It was different than the conventions most other books used, and I sometimes like to break conventions when they really don't matter -- it wakes people up. "Dare to be different" is another good answer.
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Is the book compatible with my religion?
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The book was written in a secular fashion to be inclusive to any belief system. It is set up to get you to make choices and those choices can be guided by whatever religion you have chosen. What you can expect to happen is that you will end up being happier with your religion.
There are a few exceptions however. It is not compatible with extremist views, such as those advocating criminal acts. It is also not compatible with any religious organization which is guiding you to be unhappy, but if that is the case then that organization is probably not following the core principles of that religion properly. Most religions have a goal of improving a person's life, it's just that sometimes the message gets confused as it's passed on. |
Will the book help me to understand emotions?
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The book is geared towards results, so it will help you achieve emotional stability. Achieving an intellectual understanding of emotions is not necessary for happiness, unless it is something you are very curious about and are not succeeding at answering your own questions. Too many unresolved questions can cause you to be unhappy, so the book contains techniques for resolving these types of complex questions.
So you should be able to answer your own complex questions like this one after reading the book with the techniques inside. If you took the coaching package, I will also help to resolve these questions much faster for you. |
Will the book help me to get a relationship with the person I want?
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This is the most frequent question I am hearing. The book was primarily written to get someone to achieve consistent personal happiness, and does not cover the art of seduction or coach on how to have good relationships with a specific person. There are plenty of other books out there on that. This book may help as there are a few tips, but people are complex. If the person you want to have a relationship with is more attracted to unhappy people then this book will definitely not help.
However, if you desire to have a happy relationship with someone else in general, this book will definitely help towards that. It will suggest that you find a compatible person where you will both make each other happy, and have exercises to improve your values to be able to support that type of relationship. As this question comes up so frequently, I am working on some additional material that I can give to people on this question, but I don't expect it to be done for a while due to it's research requirements and complexity. |